I hope it's not too late
by keffys
Summary: It's been three years since he last saw her. She promised she would be happy, but he should've known better. — Set five years after 5x24. Blair is still looking for happiness in the wrong place.


**Disclaimer:** These characters are not mine.

**Summary:** It's been three years since he last saw her. She promised she would be happy, but he should've known better. — Set five years after 5x24. Blair is still looking for happiness in the wrong place.

**Notes:** Sorry about the mistakes and thanks for reading.

* * *

**I hope it's not too late.**

* * *

**I: «Press 3 to delete this message».**

_Right now I can't answer the phone, please leave your message and I'll call you back later. _

Beep.

.

.

_Dan, there's something I need to tell you, Blair is lo-_

3.

.

_You win, Humphrey. She doesn't want me anym-_

3.

They need to stop with this; it's been three fucking years.

.

_Dan, I really want you to visit me, Katherine is missing you. Call me._

It's only eleven, but Dan is sure that Jenny is sleeping, and he decides to leave a message.

"I'll visit New York this Friday, Jen. See you then," he says, "and give Kat a kiss for me."

.

_They loved the plot, Dan! We have a meeting next Tuesday at 11am to discuss the details. Call me tomorrow at six to confirm that you're going._

.

_Blair is looki-_

3.

.

_She wants you, Humphrey, no-_

3.

.

It's always the same. He never answers the phone; he checks his voicemail at the end of the day, though, and it's always the same things over and over again. The voicemails are about Blair and his books; sometimes they are about Jenny and Katherine. It's never her voice at the other end of the line.

He never answers the phone, but for some reason he's suddenly hearing Serena's voice and he realizes it's not a voicemail.

"She told me that she was looking for you, she really misses you, this last year she's been sad, Dan, and I think she nee-"

"Serena, don't do this, _please_."

She hangs up. But then she calls again a leaves a voicemail, trying one last time to tell him the truth.

He really doesn't want to hear it, but he _can't_ delete it without knowing if Blair is alright.

_She needs you; she's not the same as before, she lost her spark. It's like she's not living, Dan, and I'm worried. She doesn't talk about it, but I think she's tired of being with Chuck. She doesn't smile and it's killing me. She doesn't let him kiss her in public, at first I thought that she wanted to be more private, but two months ago Chuck told me that she's distant since last year. I'm so worried, Dan, I know we aren't friends anymore and I'm not exactly your favorite person, but I really need you to help me with this. What if she has a- Oh, god, what if she's… I don't think I can handle it. Please, call me._

It really hurts, hearing that voicemail. Suddenly he feels guilty that he's not there for Blair, but then he realizes that she was the one that walked away without a goodbye. Since that day when she chose Chuck, they never really talk; they are polite and make small talk, they even fought two or three times, but they never have meaningful conversations about art and literature. And it's been a really long time since they last talked to each other (The last words they said were _I am sorry but I can't do that, I guess this is goodbye._ And Dan was the one to say them).

They are not the same anymore, but in a way they are: He's still pinning for this broken girl called Blair who is trapped inside the walls she made to protect herself.

"Serena… I, I will help you. I just need some time to be ready. It's been three years since I last saw her," he says before ending the call.

It's been three years since Blair married Chuck Bass.

* * *

**II: «You're full of broken promises».**

She promised that she would be happy.

"_Are you happy, Blair?" he said._

"_I am."_

"_Congratulations, then."_

"_Dan, I…"_

"_Tell that you're going to be happy tomorrow."_

"_I will."_

"_And in twenty years you will be happy, promise me. I just want you to be happy; that's the thing you said you wanted."_

"_I promise you that I did this because I'm sure it will make me happy till the day I die," she said, "It's that enough?"_

"_Is it?"_

_She looks doubtful for a moment, but then the moment it's gone and she nods._

"_It is."_

"_Good."_

"_I want to be your friend, Dan," she said, "just forget the past and be friends who argue over books and movies, drinking coffee from that disgusting coffee shop in Brooklyn…"_

"_I'm sorry but I can't do that," he looked at her and he knew in that moment that there was no way he could stop loving her. He hugged her briefly, inhaling her exquisite scent before letting her go. "I guess this is goodbye."_

_He walked away that day, and for three years he didn't know if he should regret it._

Of course Blair broke that promise. He should've known she would.

* * *

**III: «Like a lifeless doll».**

It's been three years since he last saw her. It's Monday, three in the afternoon and she's sitting on her bed without reading a book or a magazine, that's not really something the Blair he knows would do. She's really thin, even more than usual, and she's not wearing any makeup. She looks pretty, but lifeless, like a broken doll on the floor, soulless.

"B, look, Dan decided to visit you. He was on the city an-" she says, but Blair chooses to speak.

"Cut the crap, S. We both know you called him because you are worried about me. I don't know why you thought that was a good idea. You know he hates me and it's like we are strangers," she doesn't look at Dan, like he's not there.

"Blair, don't say that, you kn-"

"Serena, stop it. Please leave us alone," he says. Serena nods before going out of the room.

"Go away, Humphrey," she mutters, looking at the walk and then at her desk, anywhere except his face.

"Drop the mask; I know you are not this inexpressive mannequin you're trying to be right now. Talk to me, scream, cry, _do something!_"

"I hate you."

"No, _you don't!_ And I don't hate you! You know that I don't, I don't get why you are saying that! It's not true, it _never_ was!" he screams, because he can't seem to be able to be calm around her, it's impossible to feel nothing for Blair Waldorf (you love her, you hate her, you're angry at her, but you are never indifferent).

"You left me!" she yells before smacking him on the chest, her eyes are shinning with anger and frustration.

"No, Blair, I didn't. _You_ did," it hurts to say it, but he has to.

"I really needed you and you weren't there! I said I wanted to be your friend and you walked away from me! You left me!" she cries, there are tears in the cheeks and suddenly he's hugging her, because he _can't bear_ the sight of Blair crying.

"I didn't want to leave, but I _couldn't _be just your friend. I couldn't be your friend while you were married to him. It was too painful and I was never _that_ strong. I couldn't pretend I wasn't in love with you; I couldn't act like we never happened… I just couldn't, Blair," he mumbles into her hair.

"I miss you, Dan," she's breaking and his heart breaks with her.

"You still have me. You always will," he promises, "I know I walked away that day, but I won't do it again. I _can't_ walk away knowing that you are not happy. I'll try to be strong for you."

She's crying on his shoulder and he's stroking her back. She clings to him like he's a lifeline, and suddenly Dan feels like they are the same than five years ago. They really are.

"This relationship with Chuck was more about _working_ and less about _being_. I don't want to work for a little happiness; I just want to _be_ happy. Help me, Dan, please," she asks and he knows he would do anything for her.

Chuck doesn't try to open the door when he comes back to their penthouse and Serena is silent sitting on the floor outside the room, just barely listening the sound of Blair crying and Dan telling her that all is going to be okay. They stay like that for three hours, Dan holding her until she falls sleep in his arms and then he sleeps too.

They are smiling and the nightmares are gone.

* * *

**IV: «The right goodbye».**

She looks at the papers before looking back at Chuck. "Why?" she asks.

"I didn't want to break you, Blair, but I did. I'm so sorry we didn't realize it sooner, but we're not right for each other," he answers, and for the first time in months he smiled at her. "I want you to be happy and I know I can't make it happen. I always knew it, but after I had you I didn't want to admit it. I thought that a few months of happiness were enough to erase all the pain, but we both know it wasn't enough."

"It wasn't," she confirms, nodding.

"I must say that I was really happy at first. I thought that we could make it. But our time passed and we were deluding ourselves thinking that we were happy when we weren't. I will always love you, Blair. We were meant to be, but we weren't meant to last," he finishes. He turns around as Blair signs the documents.

"Chuck, wait. I need to say all the things I've wanted to say since last year but I never did because I was afraid."

"Go on," he concedes.

"I… I loved you. There was a time when I couldn't imagine my life without you, but as you said our time has passed. I was happy when I married you, but the day of our wedding I lost an important piece of me and I thought I had lost it forever. I didn't realize before how much I needed that piece of me, but as the days passed, I was longing for it to come back. I needed… _it_; I began to feel like I needed that to be happy… I d-"

"Blair, you can say the name of your missing piece. I won't be mad," he interrupts and she blushes a little, making him laugh.

"I began to feel like the happiness I wanted to find so desperately wasn't possible without _him_. I loved you but I couldn't be happy by your side. I needed my friend, _I needed Dan_, but he didn't want to be my friend while I was married with you because I said that you made me happy. I wanted to call him and tell him that I wasn't happy, but I promised that I would be. I didn't want to tell him that I broke _another_ promise. I thought about divorcing, but I wasn't ready to let you go," she cries, "I know it doesn't make sense, but you know that I'm a professional in warped logic. I was _so_ stupid, Chuck, I should've stopped our pain, but I was selfish. I was bringing you down with me and I knew it but I was a coward. I've hurt you, I've hurt Dan and I've hurt myself. I'm sorry."

"Please, don't cry. You're free to be happy, Blair. And, to be honest, I will try to find my happiness too," he hugs her, but it's just a short goodbye hug. Blair smiles when he lets go of her.

"Thank you," she says, "I always knew you were strong, Chuck, and I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for."

"Goodbye, Blair."

He walks away from her and for the first time in her life she feels like it's definitive. She doesn't cry, though, because now she knows they weren't the epic love story they used to believe they were. She feels free.

It's been three days since she last saw Dan, but she plans to change that.

* * *

**V: «Give me another chance».**

She's been practicing for this; last night she barely slept because she was excited. Dan is coming to New York today, this time for good, and she's planning on ask him to try something. She's waiting at the airport and hugs him the moment she sees him. He holds her tight and she's smiling like a schoolgirl. "I missed you, Dan," she mumbles, hiding her face in his neck and inhaling his scent. He still smells the same way, clean and safe, at least _that_ hasn't changed.

"You know I missed you too. And I'm not only talking about the last four days," he answers, trying to break the embrace.

"No, don't do it. Just… _hold me_, please," she pleads and hugs him tighter. "Chuck and I…we aren't together anymore."

"I'm sor-"

"Don't be sorry. I'm happy, that's what I needed," she tells him and he smiles when he looks at her and realizes that she's indeed really happy.

"Then I'm glad," he congratulates. She lets him go and then kisses his cheek.

"Be my friend, Dan," she says, "I want us to be friends, to let the past behind and drink coffee, I want to watch movies with you and I want to hug you. But I need to know you're okay with this, being my friend."

"Of course I can be your friend. I promised I would never leave you again."

She's looking at him, searching for something on his eyes, and then,

"I love you, Dan," she admits, "I've been waiting for you to come back to me, I needed you and at the end you decided I was worthy of your time. I'm so glad you're here and I want another chance. I know that you might not be ready, but maybe we can try to be together again when you feel prepared; I'll wait for you like you waited for me, because you deserve it."

"Don't wait, Blair, just kiss me back," he says and then he lowers his mouth and her lips are as soft a before and she's smiling in the kiss, feeling content.

Right there, in the middle of the JFK, Blair realizes that it's never too late to find happiness.


End file.
